Blue Christmas
by Monkey and Music Lover
Summary: Its been seven years, she's still missing. It's been seven years, her daughter is still motherless. Its been seven years, can she come back to the life she worked so hard for? Rated for its language, possible title change in the future
1. Unmistakable

**A/N: Ik I still have other stories to update and I will I promise, but I just had to post this lol. I'd like to thank my beta AND co-writer not - lupus . everybody - lies for helping make sense of my story and adding and changing things lol please enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I don't own House (sulks in coner)  
**

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A single brown glove lay on his mantle. Occasionally, he'd take it and stare at it for hours. Sometimes he'd drink, but he's tried to stop, for her sake, for his sake. Plus, _she_ would have wanted him to, if _she _was still there. That glove had been there, for 7 years now. That's how long _she_'d be gone: seven, long, miserable, terrible years. At least he had her though. The one _she_ left behind. He never blamed her for _her_ death. He merely blamed himself; he could have protected both of them if he had just been there.

"Daddy," A young girl said sitting on his lap as he looked at the glove again, "Who's glove is that?" She asked curiously.

He was still alive because of her. If he didn't have to - want to - take care of her he could have given up on life. Drunken himself to death seven years ago.

"Someone very special," He answered simply putting the glove back on the mantle. He sighed and smiled at the little girl on his left leg. "I might have to work tonight. You don't mind a babysitter right?" He asked her.

"Will it be Mr. Lawrence?" The girl asked energetically.

"Is he your usual babysitter?" He asked the girl. She just nodded, still not understanding sarcasm. "Well then who do you think is going to babysit you?"

"Yay," The girl cheered ecstatically, "You're the best daddy ever."

"You only say that when you want something," He said looking down at her. They then heard a car horn outside. "Well you have to go to school, be good alright, Rachel?" The girl nodded and kissed her father on the cheek.

She ran to door after grabbing her backpack and stopped for a moment. She turned to her father once more. "I love you, daddy." He let a small smile escape his lips and the little girl ran outside to the winter snow to greet her friends and go off to school.

He said down once more and looked at the glove. He caressed it remembering the foul night all those years ago. Before he could go into deep thought there was a knock at his door and his best friend came in, catching him for what felt like the thousandth time looking at the old glove.

"House, let's get to work." Wilson said. He walked up to House and put a hand on his shoulder. "It wasn't your fault you know." He stated. "She didn't die because of you and hey we don't know. Maybe she's still alive somewhere."

"Who," House asked deflecting. "Is it someone who mattered?"

Wilson just shook his head. "I'll be waiting in the car." He said walking up to the door and pausing to turn to his friend. "You never know House, she might still be alive somewhere."

House ignored his friend. She was missing for seven years, of course she was dead. It was obvious. He let out a sigh and examined the glove once more. He read the name on the tag; she always was a neat, controlling freak. _Lisa Cuddy_, the tag read in worn out ink. He put the glove back on the mantle and walked out to join his friend.

--

It was starting to near lunch and ER was actually calm. A blonde, Australian, male doctor came down to pick his wife up for Lunch. He waved hello to a few nurses and doctors and walked up to a blonde haired female with her hair in a pony tail.

"Hold on Chase, let me just finish up with this one patient." She told him. She turned back to the patient. "Alright Mrs. Anderson, come back next week to change your cast and you're free to go." She smiled.

"Thank you Dr. Cameron," The woman said and got into the wheelchair and was pushed out by her husband.

"Ready to go," Chase asked her as she walked up to the desk and give the folder to the nurse.

"Yeah let's go," Cameron said as she and Chase began to walk out. "Oh wait I have to ask Brenda something," Cameron snapped her fingers. She and Chase went back to the Clinic. Cameron then stopped in her tracks.

"Kevin Mendez, exam room 3," A nurse called out as she looked expectantly at the crowd. A woman with sad blue eyes and curly brown hair stood up with a young boy and they walked over to the nurse. Cameron made eye contact with the lady and walked closer, Chase following close behind.

"I need to use the washroom. You can go into the room by yourself, can't you?" She asked the young boy hopefully.

"I don't know, Maria..." Kevin said unsure of what would happen without his nanny.

"Don't worry, you will be safe without your mom," the nurse said kindly as she guided him towards the exam room.

"She is my nanny, but ok," He said with a small smile as he waved goodbye to the lady who was left standing by the nurse's station.

Maria walked over to the office with the words, "Dr. Meryl Simpson, Dean of Medicine"

She looked through the blinds and saw an older lady sitting behind a familiar desk in a familiar room. Tears came to her eyes as she longed to go back in time. Back to when everything was the way it should be.

"Excuse me? Dr. Lisa Cuddy?" Cameron asked hesitantly as she walked with Chase behind the woman.

The woman turned around and looked at the pair of doctors with a frightened look that read, "please, no."

"No, my name is Maria. I am sorry," She paused as she bit her lip and averted eye contact, "You, must have me confused with someone else." Maria finished, and Cameron could tell she was lying.

"Lisa, please - we have been looking for you for seven years! Don't play games, we all want you back - working in that office, and being an amazing doctor," Cameron begged.

"Allison, what are you doing? She said she wasn't Cuddy," Chase said confused.

"She is lying, right?" She asked as she looked at Maria in the eyes, "You really are Cuddy, aren't you?"

Just then the elevator doors opened, and a familiar doctor stepped out. Maria caught his eye, and he did a double-take. _It can't be..._ he thought as he began limping as fast as he could in their direction.

Maria saw him, and panicked. He couldn't see her, not now - she wouldn't be able to handle it.

"I-I have to go, Kevin should be out anytime soon," Maria said quickly as she pulled a small folded piece of paper out of her worn out jacket and dropped it carelessly to the floor before turning around and walking briskly to the clinic.

Cameron watched as the lady she swore was her old boss walked away before bending down and picking up the piece of paper. It was slightly worn, and she guessed Cuddy had kept it with her for more than a couple of weeks.

She gasped in shock as she read the two words on the small piece of paper.

"Was that who I thought it was?" House asked as he joined the two outside of the Dean of Medicine's office.

Cameron just nodded and handed him the note before whispering, "She needs us."

House looked down at the note and felt a feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn't know what it was, but he didn't like it. Staring at the two words he had to say them out loud to prove to himself they were real, "Help Me."

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	2. What About Now?

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own House**

**A/N**: We're finally back!! Sorry it took forever! We feel sooo bad!!! We are both on break so hopefully the next chapter wont take TOO LONG like the other chapter. Hope you all like it! And sorry again

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The trio stood still for a few moments before Chase looked back up from the floor.

"She needs us - she needs our help!" He exclaimed.

"Is everything alright over here?" Dr. Simpson asked as she opened the door leading to her office. She cocked a brow and crossed her arms. She was a very impatient woman and liked to get things over with quickly. Her foot began to tap impatiently as she waited for one of them to answer her.

"Well, it depends. Where is 'here'? If it is over there," House pointed towards the ER, "Then no, because people are dying. If it is over there," House pointed inside her office, "Then yes, because you are an old hag who doesn't care about anyone dying." He took a step back before she could hit him or fire him on the spot. He did insult her, after all.

"Excuse me?!?" the Dean exclaimed, in absolute shock by his sudden rude outburst. He hadn't been that rude to her since the day she had finally set him in place by threatening to take his job. She was about to give him a long lecture about courtesy, one she hadn't given him in years, but he spoke first.

"Sorry, gotta run! Like I said; people dying."

House limped back to his office quickly with Cameron and Chase following close behind him. When they got to there office they saw Thirteen, Kutner and Taub waiting there with House's new team. House entered and flipped his white board around to use the clean side, almost knocking down the blinds in the process.

"We have another case already?" Jenna Stevenson, one of House's new ducklings, asked. "We barely got started on the other one." She stated obviously which irritated House.

"Thank you captain obvious!"

"What? Can't handle another case?" Charles Matthews, another new duckling, asked her jokily. He then turned to his boss, waiting for a briefing.

"You have nothing to say?" House pointed to Brian Arnott with his cane. "Still no sense of humor, huh?" He waited for his response but instead got a dull stare. House rolled his eyes annoyed and turned away.

"Why did you page us?" Taub asked House curiously, with a hint of irritation – he was prepping for surgery after all.

"Yeah, I was in the middle of a clinical trial," Thirteen informed with a sigh. She was able to join a new trial about 4 years ago and it has been working great for her so far.

"I have a new case for you six," He said to his original and previous ducklings. He then turned to his current team. "As for you three, your still on the old case so get your asses up and start working."

The three nodded once before closing the medical files they had scattered across the glass table top and swept them into their firm grasps. Jenna smiled sweetly as she walked past the other doctors, while her two colleagues following her just stared.

"Right now?" Charles asked in shock. "But I want to work on the new case! Why can't we work on the new case as well?" He whined.

"Why can't you just do as I say?" House mimicked.

Charles stood firmly planted by his seat, as he grasped the top of the chair tightly. As if holding his chair would prevent anyone from moving him.

"Do you like your job?" Taub asked, but continued before anyone could answer. "Do what he says, or you may walk in to find someone else sitting in your precious little seat at the streak free glass table that I am sure he makes you clean every day." He stated in his usual monotone voice.

Charles looked down sheepishly before hurrying out the door, followed by Brian. Taub looked at the other doctors with a satisfied smirk.

"I taught you well..." House mumbled, barely loud enough for anyone to hear; Taub smiled at the 'compliment'.

"Ok, so...forty-something year old female...athletic..." House started as he wrote down the points on the whiteboard. His previous ducklings sat down in their usual seats and House blinked three times. "Whoa, déjà vu."

"Is this about Cuddy?" Thirteen asked bluntly, as she leaned back in her chair, completely comfortable in the familiar room. She could tell House was starting to try to add humor to the subject.

"She's been gone for-" Taub started, but was immediately interrupted by House.

"Seven years; I know." House decided to leave out that fact that it wasn't just seven years since he had seen his boss, but it was seven years and 152 days. Yes, he counted; no, he wouldn't dare tell a soul.

"So this _is_ about Cuddy," Thirteen stated, slightly proud of the fact that she figured out the new case so easily. That was the only topic House ever really tried to lighten quickly.

House rolled his eyes.

Chase and Cameron, who had been staying out of the whole conversation decided to join in with their new news.

"I saw her," Cameron announced with a worried smile, "the three of us did." She pointed at House and Chase.

"What? How is that possible?" Thirteen asked as he sat up and leant forward, folding her arms on the streak free table. "She's been missing for seven years; if she was alive she would have contacted one of us, or at least her sister."

"She came to us now - that has to mean something. She dropped this before she left," Chase answered as he placed the worn piece of paper in the middle of the table. "She must have done it purposely. It seems wrinkled and played with. She was probably waiting for the right time to give it to the right people."

The room was silent as the doctors stared at the two words printed neatly in the center of the paper. Only Cuddy would be able to write perfectly in the middle of a stressful situation; she did it daily.

"Is she still here?" Taub asked as he started to get up from his chair, "We need to talk to her! Find out where she has been!" He sounded urgent.

"Sit down, you idiot; before you get her killed." House hissed in a low tone.

"Killed…?" The team looked at him in confusion.

House didn't answer right away, he didn't want to think about it...but then again, he had no choice. Cuddy was here, heck, maybe she still was. They had to find her.

_~Flashback~_

House was lying on the couch at home, too lazy to do anything. He had the TV on and the sound was blaring. He was surprised the neighbors weren't complaining yet.

A commercial came up, something about a new car coming out, when his home phone rang. House stared at it across the room, debating whether or not he should take the effort to walk over or not. The answering machine came up, and House smirked, if he had gotten up it would have reached the answering machine before he would have a change to reach it, and then he would have to call him back; nah, too much work. The answering machine didn't switch off though...'someone is leaving a message...' he thought as he reached over to put the TV on mute.

"House...I-" the feminine voice paused. It was Cuddy; he could recognize the voice anywhere. He could hear a faint whine of complaining coming from a baby - Rachel - obviously close by to where Cuddy was with the phone. "Rachel, shh, please be quiet for mommy," She begged. House leaned forward, as if to hear the message more clearly.

House heard the phone go down with a light thud as Cuddy tended to Rachel for a moment. She came back to the phone; he could hear her soft breathing clearly from the other end. It seemed as if she was debating what to say. After a moment, she broke the silence.

"I know you're there, please pick up..." she took a deep breath. "I need you," She said softly and sincerely.

House smirked, 'She needs me' he thought, and almost laughed. She probably needed a babysitter or something. 'Not in your dreams,' he thought, as if she could hear his thoughts, 'There is no ways I am looking after your little demon - heck why would you want me to?'

He heard her gasp before whispering, "Please..."

The phone dropped to the floor again with an almost silent thud, as if it had fallen on something softer than ground. _'A pile of clothes' House thought as he came back to reality for a brief moment, 'How did I not-' He shook his head as he continued through the memory_.

Footsteps could be heard through the phone, although they were very faint from the position on top of the soft item, House could tell they were footsteps.

"What, you don't want to talk to me anymore?" House yelled towards the phone, thinking Cuddy was walking away from him. How rude.

A beep signaled the end of the message.

House shook his head, un-muted the TV, and continued watching. If Cuddy really needed a babysitter, she would call him again...or call Wilson. Wilson was the better choice anyways - didn't she learn that by now?

_'Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid' House accused himself before he felt someone touching his hand. _

~_End flashback~_

"Are you ok?" Cameron asked softly with a look of deep concern as House looked up from the carpeted floor.

"You're touching me," House said dryly.

Cameron quickly removed her hand. It was resting on top of his right hand, which was grasping his cane for support.

"Sorry," Cameron whispered as she took a step back and looked down sheepishly.

"She was taken. Don't do anything stupid," House answered their previous question before reaching forward to grab the piece of paper, and then limping out of the room.

Quickly closing the door behind him, he blocked out the concerned comments from his ex-employees. He needed to think, not answer stupid questions.

--

"I saw her," House stated bluntly, as he burst into his best friend's office and sat comfortably, but troublesomely in the comfy chair. He held his cane upright and laid his head against it.

"You saw who?" Wilson asked, not really paying any attention to his friend. He was a little irritated after speaking to his boss. "Can you make it quick? I am not in the mood for another one of your games and neither was Dr. Simpson," Wilson replied with a sigh as he looked up from his paperwork.

"Cuddy, she is downstairs - well, she was...five minutes ago," House announced as he ignored the comment about their boss and focused on the more important subject at hand. He kept a serious face as he looked up to look at his friend.

"House, don't do this. She has been gone for six years!" Wilson exclaimed tiresomely.

House's brows furrowed together, offended by the comment.

"Seven," he corrected gruffly.

Wilson looked at him slightly confused.

"She has been gone for _seven_ years, Wilson!" House shouted. How could his friend forget? How could he not remember? Wasn't Cuddy his friend too? Steam was blowing out of his ears.

"You even said so this morning, she could still be alive and for once you were right!" House exclaimed.

Wilson looked down and shook his head. How could he be so stupid? And he didn't really believe Cuddy was alive. He was simply trying to cheer his friend up. He didn't think it would do this to him.

"She dropped this," House said as he pulled the piece of paper out of his pocket and nearly slammed it on Wilson's desk as pure proof.

"Are you sure it was her?" Wilson asked slowly, unsure of what to expect. The note could have been written from anyone, to anyone.

_So much for avoiding stupid questions. _House thought with an irritated sigh. He just looked at him with no verbal response. He wasn't going to defend his position. He knew she was there.

"Have you ever heard of the 'boy who cried wolf'?" Wilson started as he looked at his friend now concerned.

"I thought I was the one that did the metaphors," House said dryly.

Before Wilson could continue his probably boring lecture, House walked out. He wasn't in the mood to have someone try and convince him that he was wrong. He was always right. Always.

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**A/N** - hope you enjoyed it! sorry it took so long to update again...we are co-writing this, and sending it back and forth...and back and forth...haha. We'll try to get the updates up faster and sooner. please review! tell us what you think =)  
~ not-lupus . everybody-lies & monkeyandmusiclover


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